Yes, I finally did. "Home" being that protective shell of the thing we call anieke. All ripped and worn and faded at the edges. The shell that walks and talks and breaks out in fits of laughter.
I thought maybe I was lost and needed to be found, but now I know that I started out just where I belong. You see, there is safety in distance and there is protection, too. I should have known that I put barricades up for a reason. But I didn't try hard enough to actually stop and think. So without my guards and skepticism, I became unraveled. And that exposure took me places I don't want to know again.
So I came home in the middle of the night
and wondered,
can you really fix something if you don't know which part is broken?